Two Easy Ways to Start Earning Rewards!
Become a member today!
Members-only pricing and offers, personalized care notifications, Vital Care points back on every purchase and more!
Already a member? Sign in
Become a credit card member today!
Earn 2X Pals Rewards points at Petco
when you use Petco Pay!
APPLY NOW
Learn More About Petco Pay Benefits

My dog is scared of me after spanking. How to rebuild trust?

Updated on September 23rd, 2025

Pet's info: Dog | Yorkipoo | Male | unneutered | 4 months and 15 days old | 6 lbs

For weeks now, we have been spanking Gordon as discipline. I feel terrible right now because I'm realizing how bad and hurtful this is to him. I really did not know how horrible spanking is for dogs. Recently, Gordon has been scared of me... he is running away from me and he seems more anxious around me. I think this is a direct result of me spanking him the couple of times that he chewed on our shoes.

3 Answers

Most Helpful Answer

Answered By Ricardo Fernandez, DVM

Veterinarian, Veterinary Oncology Resident

Published on August 16th, 2017

Hi! Thanks for using Petco Pet Education Center, formerly Petcoach! When it comes to dog training, positive reinforcement is the way to go. This means focusing on the positive. For example, When Gordon does something undesirable, you firmly let him know that it is not ok and move on. When he does something well, you congratulate him like it is the most amazing thing in the entire world and reward him with treats. I think that Gordon will lose that fear as soon as he realizes that you are not using that sort of training anymore. Good luck!

1Pet Parents found this answer helpful

Related Answers from Veterinarians

Answered By Lauren Kennedy, DVM
Veterinarian
Gordon maybe shying away from you because of all the negative reinforcement he is receiving. I would recommend avoiding this if at all possible. Sometimes a loud clap of the hands or a stern 'No!' is all that is needed. Also, keep in mind that while it is frustrating, puppies need to chew. To keep him from destroying your things keep him in a crate when you are gone and try to 'puppy proof' the house so he will not have the opportunity to get into things he shouldn't.

To help reestablish your bond with him try taking him on a fast paced walk for 20-30 minutes then have a training session with him afterward. Just work on simple commands like sit/stay/come and use a lot of positive reinforcement like verbal praise and treats (lots of treats!).

Don't worry, you have not done any long term damage to your relationship with Gordon. He is still very young and you will be able to bond with him as he grows.

I hope this helps. Thanks for using Petco Pet Education Center, formerly Petcoach. Best of luck!
1Pet Parents found this answer helpful
Answered By Laura Johnson VMD
Veterinarian
Published on January 17th, 2018
Hi, thanks for using Petco Pet Education Center, formerly Petcoach! Poor Pebbles!

Most trainers do not recommend negative reinforcement. Studies have shown that dogs learn better with positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement tends to cause fear. I would slowly build trust again. Play with her, taker her for walks, give her treats for positive actions, pet her and talk to her and eliminate hitting.

I hope this helps and I wish you and Pebbles the best!
1Pet Parents found this answer helpful

Smart Picks for Smart Questions

Related Questions

Health & Wellness

My dog fears me. How do I build a strong, loving bond with her now?

Thanks for using Petco Pet Education Center, formerly Petcoach and for being brave enough to ask this question. The great news is that Callie is young! The best things I can recommend for bonding are training and play. Training doesn’t have to be rigid or be done for hours a day. Work on fun tricks together and if you feel that you (or Callie) is getting frustrated, stop for a break or try the next day. Training is so positive because it gives Callie clear expectations with predictable consequences and increases her trust in you as she learns to understand that you will react the same each time. Play is also important but obvious avoid any actions that she might be wary of. Eg, be sure to throw things away from her to fetch rather than toward her as she might confuse this with you throwing something AT her. In general, sqautting down to be at her level and keeping your hands mostly palm-up are helpful in avoiding scenarios that might make her anxious. Exercise in any form is good for her mental health and will decrease anxiety in general. I hope this helps and I wish you and Callie all the best in a brand new, wonderful relationship.

Updated on September 23rd, 2025

Training & Behavior

Is my 12-year-old dog peeing inside due to age or fear of punishment?

Thanks for using Petco Pet Education Center, formerly Petcoach! I would recommend that you do not spank her as dogs respond much better to positive reinforcement. This means that she would probably respond better to you rewarding her positive behavior such as when she does it outside. You can use praise and treats. It is basically focusing on the positive instead of the negative. You will start noticing that she will go outside more and inside less. This works consistently usually. Good luck and have a good day!

Updated on September 23rd, 2025

How can I build trust with my adopted German Shepherd who fears me?

HI, thanks for using Petco Pet Education Center, formerly Petcoach! Max is very cute! Max is likely afraid of you because you are a man and more dominant in appearance and stature. I would take obedience training and seek a private trainer with him alone. I would discuss anti-anxiety medications with your Vet. German Shepherds are very anxious dogs and getting on top of it now with private training and medications (hopefully temporary) will help in the long run. It will take time and one on one interactions to build trust and a relationship, it may not happen over night. I hope this helps and I wish you and Max the very best!

Updated on September 23rd, 2025

Training & Behavior

My dog is very skittish. How do I help him overcome his fears?

I certainly sympathize with your situation. My own 2 year old dog is the same way. The key to training him is to expose him to situations that are not too scary for him, but improve his confidence. This is not a quick or easy process, and will need to be continued long term. I have found the best method to be a desensitization and counter-conditioning system. When Max encounters something that is slightly scary for him (not too overhelming at first), ask him to sit or lie down for a treat. The goal is to get him to do something that he is comfortable with and receive a treat (positive reinforcement) for doing that behavior instead of being afraid. Do not give him any reinforcement (verbal or otherwise) for fearful behavior, but try to ignore it. Instead reward the behavior you want to see. It would be a great idea to have a trainer try to help you start this type of training program, so you might ask your vet for a recommendation on a trainer. I have been using this on my dog, and it works well, but requires a lot of work. I hope that was helpful! Thanks for using Petco Pet Education Center, formerly Petcoach.

Updated on September 23rd, 2025

Training & Behavior

My dog is suddenly scared of me and avoids me. What can I do?

Something must have scared her and it will take some time to get her to relax again. I would ignore her, go sit in the room with her and have very tasty treats ready. Hopefully Merida will investigate the smell of the treats and you can offer them to her. I would only reach for her if she's relaxed and not hold her if she wants to get away. Gradually she'll learn you always have good treats and she will relax and start to come to you again and then you can start petting and playing with her. Please be calm and speak softly and even play with her toys without looking at her. She should become curious and want to join in. Again this may take some time and if you are too loud or forceful it may make her more fearful. Be patient and things should gradually get back to normal. Thanks for using Petco Pet Education Center, formerly Petcoach to help you care for Merida.

Updated on September 23rd, 2025

Training & Behavior

My dog gets scared after accidents. How can I help her overcome fear?

Instead of focusing on the bad things, try to be positive when she does good things to give her more confidence. Doing an obedience class together may help improve your bond and make her feel more secure

Updated on September 23rd, 2025

Training & Behavior

How to help my dog overcome fear and trust me again after hitting her?

I'm sorry you feel so terrible! It does sound like Maya is afraid now that you may hit her when you rise your hands, and it will take time for her to realize that you won't hurt her again. Make slow movements around her, don't raise your hands quickly, and speak to her in a calm voice. She will learn to trust you again, and I'm sure you won't react by hitting her again. I hope this helps!

Updated on September 23rd, 2025

Have A Vet Question?

Book an appointment with the pros – our expert vets are here to help.

Share