How to clean my dog's ears, teeth, trim nails, brush fur, and bathe?

All good questions!. Dog's ears are shaped a little bit differently than people's ears. You don't have to be very scared of damaging the ear drums because the canals are L-shaped. As long and you go straight in and do not try and bend a q-tip in a 90 degree angle, there should be very little chance for damage. A cleansing formulation should be available at most pet stores. Deposit this into the ear first, massage at the base of the ear, and then clean the ear with gauze and/or q-tips. Be sure to get most of the liquid out, as leaving residual moisture in the ears can actually cause an infection. As far as teeth, tooth brushes and doggy toothpaste is readily available at your vet or a pet store. You don't have to brush them every night, but once or twice a week would be great. Depending on the color your dog's nails, you can sometimes see precisely just how far you can clip the nails without causing a problem. If you cut too far, you will sever the small blood vessel at the end of the nail and cause some bleeding. These can bleed quite a bit but are easily stopped with something called "Quick Stop", another product available at most pet stores. For long-haired dogs I would use a brush with plenty of wiry bristle on them to break apart any potential knots and mats in the hair. As long as your brush regularly, you shouldn't have to worry about this much, though. The nails can be trimmed down just before the point where you can actually visualize the blood vessel. Alternatively, you can considering using a grinder / dremel to achieve a smoother surface on the nail. In terms of bathing, this can be done anywhere if Rusty doesn't tolerate a tub well. As long as you can get him wet and lathered up, it doesn't really matter what the location is.