My cat is standoffish. How can I make my cat love me?

Cats are individuals and just like people, they all have different preferences. Not all cats like to held. It likely has nothing to do with loving you. If you want to encourage your cat to like the experience, remember the always be slow and patient. Don’t force the behavior upon your cat or he will have a negative experience and then will rebel against it. A good place to begin is encouraging him to sit quietly in your lap. Once he is comfortable on your lap, he may allow more handling. If he seems otherwise happy, you may be content with meeting him where he is and finding a different way to express affect and bond. I hope this is helpful and please feel free to post any additional questions.

Cats are extremely difficult to train to do things, it's not like dogs, most cats will be happy to come and either sit on you or beside you from time to time, but that happens on their terms and when it suits them, that's how cats are.

If you have ever physically punished your cat, it is possible that your cat has developed a fear of you. On the other hand, you can be the gentlest of cat owners and still have a cat that runs when you try to pet her. Often this behavior is due to poor socialization of the cat when she was a very young kitten. Kittens need to be socialized to human touch between the ages of 2-7 weeks. This is when kittens learn that being held and pet by humans is pleasurable. Kittens that don't receive much early socilization may always be a little skittish around people and not associate petting with a positive experience. Some cats are also just more sensitive to being pet - it doesn't feel good to them; it arouses or irritates them. A cat that doesn't like the way petting feels will run away to avoid the experience. Yet, that same cat may enjoy your company and want to be in the same room with you. You can encourage your cat to come closer for petting by doing the following simple steps: 1) let your cat initiate the interactions, rather than you trying to impose them on your cat; 2) Sit or squat down whenever you would like your cat to approach so that you don't seem as threatening to your cat; 3) Reward your cat's approach with a favorite treat or a tiny bit of canned food; 4) Let your cat smell your hand before you attempt to pet or touch; 5) If your cat is shy about its head being touched, try scritching under the chin or at the base of the tail; 6) Reward your cat for allowing you to touch her. 7) Keep your petting brief and increase as she seems more tolerant. 8) Instead of petting your cat when she approaches, engage her in play with an interactive toy to help build a bond between the two of you. 9) Be patient with your cat and yourself.

If Chloe was feral or not handled much as a kitten, it could be that she just doesn't really know how to purr or interact. Giving her time and letting her approach you on her terms for pets, cuddles, etc can help ensure she feels comfortable and continues to warm up to you. It may also be that she shows her love in other ways-- which is perfectly fine-- such as playing with you, laying near you, asking for pets, or even blinking lazily at you (a cat smile!).

Thanks for using Petco Pet Education Center, formerly Petcoach! The main thing is trying to get him to associate you with something positive. You can try to find treats and things for him to eat that he really enjoys. You can get him to come out and feed him a treat while you pet him. This will most likely help if you stay consistent and persistent. It is important to note that some kitties are really not very affectionate and while he may become more social, he may never be a kitty who enjoys constant interaction. Good luck and have a good day!

Some cats are simply more affectionate than others. I recommend not forcing any contact, as this can have a negative effect, but continue to offer toys and treats and try to play and interact. Over time Leo may become more affectionate, but he may not. Using pheromones like Feliway in a diffuser or spray may also help him adjust to the new situation. https://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod_display.cfm?pcatid=37240

You can try getting a feliway hormome diffuser to keep her calm. Keep trying to interact with her, but i tell people all the time that a cat's demeanour is compleyely determined by itself not the owner. Thete is nothing you can do to make a solitary cat a lap cat unfortunately. Some cats are lovely and affectionate, some are just selfish.