How to get my fearful cat to trust and bond with me after a year?

A cat who was basically feral for 5 months may take quite some time to become more comfortable with handling, and she may never be a cuddly lap cat. It does sound like she is willing to have some interaction with you, so I would continue what you are doing in terms of offering her nice tasty treats when she comes to you. Also feeding her near you if she will eat with you nearby but not touching her (don't want to overwhelm her at first, just get her more used to your presence being nonthreatening). I wouldn't pick her up if it scares her just yet, and I wouldn't force her to meet/be touched or held by new people just yet. I would give her a few more months of settling in. You may also add feline pheremone diffusers (Feliway is my favorite brand) to the house and try calming supplements such as Composure or Zylkene to see if these help relieve some of her anxiety as well. You can find all these products online, or at some vet clinics.

If you have ever physically punished your cat, it is possible that your cat has developed a fear of you. On the other hand, you can be the gentlest of cat owners and still have a cat that runs when you try to pet her. Often this behavior is due to poor socialization of the cat when she was a very young kitten. Kittens need to be socialized to human touch between the ages of 2-7 weeks. This is when kittens learn that being held and pet by humans is pleasurable. Kittens that don't receive much early socilization may always be a little skittish around people and not associate petting with a positive experience. Some cats are also just more sensitive to being pet - it doesn't feel good to them; it arouses or irritates them. A cat that doesn't like the way petting feels will run away to avoid the experience. Yet, that same cat may enjoy your company and want to be in the same room with you. You can encourage your cat to come closer for petting by doing the following simple steps: 1) let your cat initiate the interactions, rather than you trying to impose them on your cat; 2) Sit or squat down whenever you would like your cat to approach so that you don't seem as threatening to your cat; 3) Reward your cat's approach with a favorite treat or a tiny bit of canned food; 4) Let your cat smell your hand before you attempt to pet or touch; 5) If your cat is shy about its head being touched, try scritching under the chin or at the base of the tail; 6) Reward your cat for allowing you to touch her. 7) Keep your petting brief and increase as she seems more tolerant. 8) Instead of petting your cat when she approaches, engage her in play with an interactive toy to help build a bond between the two of you. 9) Be patient with your cat and yourself.

Time and patience! If Princess is skittish in your new home it may just be she needs some time to settle in and relax. If she was abused or not handled much before coming to your home, she may also take longer to bond or just never be quite as cuddly. A few things you can do: Let her approach you instead of forcing interactions. This can help her gain trust and make things less stressful. If she does approach, offering your hand for her to sniff before petting, giving a favorite treat, or just talking in a calming voice can help. Pheromone diffusers and collars are great for reducing stress and anxiety and may help her to relax some and settle in. Treats are friends! Hand feeding her meals, giving treats when she approaches, and rewarding her for when she is calm and not nervous can help build trust as well. Playing with toys, if she likes them, such as a feather on a string can help increase bond and interactions without petting that may be too stressful for her, while still letting her interact and have fun.

I hate to hear this is happening. There are some things you can do which may help but if Apricot was not socialized with humans as a very young kitten, it can be difficult for her to bond with people. Try hand feeding her. All the food must be picked up (so she may need to be isolated to a bedroom with her litter box...etc. When you come in with the food, sit close to hear quietly and don't look directly at her. Talk softly to her. Hold your hand out with her food. If she will not eat it directly from your hand, put it in her bowl and sit about a foot away from the bowl. Gradually move closer. This will help to create an association with food. Be slow and patient. I hope this helps and please feel free to post any additional questions.

Your question doesn't really describe what is going on. If the cats are fearful of you, taking time to let them approach you, and making sure you're the one feeding them, etc, can help with bonding. A toy that can be played with from a distance, such as a feather on a stick or laser pointer can also help with bonding without stress. If they get stressed out from handling, taking a break is best. If the cats are having trouble with each other, making sure they both have their own access to food, water, litter, etc can help avoid competition over resources. A pheromone diffuser such as Feli-way can also be plugged in to common rooms to help reduce stress.

Poor Sophia. Some cats never truly do warm up or want attention. But there are some things you can try. One is try feeding something she really wants by hand. Either cat treats or canned food. Or if she won't eat from your hand yet. Start by sitting still next to her food bowl when you put it out. Resist the urge to pet her initially. Let her get comfortable with close proximity. Gradually over time see how she likes being petted. Some cats may only accept attention while you're on the floor wth them or she's on the bed with you. Try to keep things in her comfort zone Feliway diffusers around the house may also help with her baseline anxiety level as well. I strongly recommend looking into Feliway for skittish cats. https://www.feliway.com/us#redirected But mostly it's going to take time. It could be months but if you are patient and gentle about it she will likely start to look for more interaction. Try not to force things and don't grab or pick her up unless necessary. Let her come to you on her terms. Good luck! Thanks for using PetCoach.

Some cats are like that and just trust one person they pick. If she has been like that for several years and is not showing affection or trust in anyone else in the house, she will likely not change. Feel honored that she picked you as her person! You can have others in the house give her her food, which may or may not make a difference.