My cat is afraid of us. How can I get him to bond with our family?

Thanks for using Petco Pet Education Center, formerly Petcoach! Cats, like people, have different personalities; some are very sociable and always want to cuddle, while others can be more reserved and independent. It may be partly personality contributing to his behavior, as well as adjusting to his new environment. A pheromone collar (they can be found on amazon, such as nurturecalm) may be a good option instead of feliway spray, as it is a continuous release for a full month. While the response is variable among cats, it is definitely something I would recommend giving a try. Additionally, if there is a type of treat that Vin really enjoys, I would recommend putting some down by you when you are sitting on the couch watching TV, etc. When he comes to eat them, don't force an interaction, but allow him to nibble on them and then decide where he wants to go. Over time, they can be moved closer and closer to you to encourage him to be more comfortable in close proximity. When he seems playful, play with him with a toy, etc and then allow him to leave when he is done. If he is on a feeding schedule, get his attention by opening a can or shaking food into his bowl, allow him to stand next to you and have a short interaction before you set it down. If he still seems uncomfortable after these suggestions, I would recommend either setting up a consult or reaching out to your regular veterinarian for further advice. Good luck!

Thanks for using Petco Pet Education Center, formerly Petcoach! The main thing is trying to get him to associate you with something positive. You can try to find treats and things for him to eat that he really enjoys. You can get him to come out and feed him a treat while you pet him. This will most likely help if you stay consistent and persistent. It is important to note that some kitties are really not very affectionate and while he may become more social, he may never be a kitty who enjoys constant interaction. Good luck and have a good day!

It sounds like you're trying all of the right things, like having your husband be in charge of meals and other 'fun' things. It might help if you're not around while he's feeding her or playing with her. It takes some kittens a long time to become adjusted to new people and a new environment, so be patient and give her time.

Your question doesn't really describe what is going on. If the cats are fearful of you, taking time to let them approach you, and making sure you're the one feeding them, etc, can help with bonding. A toy that can be played with from a distance, such as a feather on a stick or laser pointer can also help with bonding without stress. If they get stressed out from handling, taking a break is best. If the cats are having trouble with each other, making sure they both have their own access to food, water, litter, etc can help avoid competition over resources. A pheromone diffuser such as Feli-way can also be plugged in to common rooms to help reduce stress.

Each cat has their own personality, just like people. You cannot force him to change. If you have access to getting some Feliway diffusers you may want to try that. They send out calming pheromones for cats and it works in most cases to make shy/timid/scared cats more comfortable. ( https://www.feliway.com/gr )

That is very strange that Finn is suddenly afraid of you, and I can understand that would be upsetting to you as well. I would give him space for now, do not approach him or make any movements toward him. Should he approach you, allow him to do it, but don't say anything or make any sudden movements. You can quietly put some treats next to you if he approaches you, and he may come up beside you to eat them. Very quietly praise him if he does this, and slowly reach your hand out to pet him. Leave it outstretched, and he can chose to rub against it if he wants. Should he chose to do this, again praise him quietly and offer him a treat. Allow him to come to you, not the other way around, and quietly praise him and give him treats when he does this. It will show him that coming up to you and getting love from you is a positive experience.

Be patient. He hasn’t been with you that long. It may take several more months for him to relax in your home. I do recommend sitting quietly and ignoring him. Cats are curious and when you’re not paying any attention to him he may get curious and come out to find out why. Sometimes they need to be the ones to initiate contact and this trust building will take time. You’ve done a great job so far and the feliway will help also. Thanks for using Petco Pet Education Center, formerly Petcoach to help you care for Blue.