My cat doesn't like being held. How can I get them to enjoy it?

Cats are individuals and just like people, they all have different preferences. Not all cats like to held. It likely has nothing to do with loving you. If you want to encourage your cat to like the experience, remember the always be slow and patient. Don’t force the behavior upon your cat or he will have a negative experience and then will rebel against it. A good place to begin is encouraging him to sit quietly in your lap. Once he is comfortable on your lap, he may allow more handling. If he seems otherwise happy, you may be content with meeting him where he is and finding a different way to express affect and bond. I hope this is helpful and please feel free to post any additional questions.

Some kitties hate being picked up. I have 5 of those. However most of the time they will come (on their own terms) and hop on your lap to be petted. So you may have to wait for that to happen. You can invite your cat to hop on your lap by patting the lap and saying "come" or "hop"...Eventually they will get the idea. Once on your lap, just gently pet or scratch your kitty, so he associates being on your lap with being comfy. Don;t worry, he loves you. He just is not comfortable with being picked up. Try lying on the couch....I bet he will come sooner or later to be with you and lie next or on top of you. He is young and wild...sitting still may also be a problem for him (like a child that cannot sit still in class). So, I suppose, patience is it. You can get some cat nip and put that on your lap....(I know that is cheating...but it might work, too)

Not all cats enjoy being picked up/handled. It can be a difference in personality or a lack of socialization when they were young kittens. You can try to get your cat more used to you by giving him tasty treats during interactions with him. First give treats when your kitty is near you or sitting on your lap/while you pet him to get him used to this type of interaction, then work up to giving him treats while picking him up for short periods of time. Some cats will never enjoy being picked up!

If you have ever physically punished your cat, it is possible that your cat has developed a fear of you. On the other hand, you can be the gentlest of cat owners and still have a cat that runs when you try to pet her. Often this behavior is due to poor socialization of the cat when she was a very young kitten. Kittens need to be socialized to human touch between the ages of 2-7 weeks. This is when kittens learn that being held and pet by humans is pleasurable. Kittens that don't receive much early socilization may always be a little skittish around people and not associate petting with a positive experience. Some cats are also just more sensitive to being pet - it doesn't feel good to them; it arouses or irritates them. A cat that doesn't like the way petting feels will run away to avoid the experience. Yet, that same cat may enjoy your company and want to be in the same room with you. You can encourage your cat to come closer for petting by doing the following simple steps: 1) let your cat initiate the interactions, rather than you trying to impose them on your cat; 2) Sit or squat down whenever you would like your cat to approach so that you don't seem as threatening to your cat; 3) Reward your cat's approach with a favorite treat or a tiny bit of canned food; 4) Let your cat smell your hand before you attempt to pet or touch; 5) If your cat is shy about its head being touched, try scritching under the chin or at the base of the tail; 6) Reward your cat for allowing you to touch her. 7) Keep your petting brief and increase as she seems more tolerant. 8) Instead of petting your cat when she approaches, engage her in play with an interactive toy to help build a bond between the two of you. 9) Be patient with your cat and yourself.

Not all dogs enjoy being held for extended periods of time, so I wouldn't force your puppy to sit on your lap or be held for long periods if he feels uncomfortable. You may be able to increase his willingness to sit on your lap or be held by rewarding him with treats or food whenever he is being held, so he associates the situation with good rewards. Filling a toy kong with wet dog food and freezing it or putting peanut butter in it and then holding the kong for your dog to lick at/chew on while you hold him on your lap may help encourage him to get used to being held by you. Slowly increase the amount of time you keep him on your lap/in your arms and be patient!

Cats are naturally independent and defensive and it is important to understand their body language and needs in order for you both to enjoy the best of each others company. It is unlikely that your cat is being mean but more that she is feeling uncertain as to how to deal with the situation - many cats feel intimidated by being picked up as this removes their ability to escape if they need to and many cats are very defensive if petted under their belly or behind the chest/shoulder area. Watch closely for her cues of swishing the tail or putting back her ears which indicate she is unhappy and allow her to jump up to you when she is ready. Icatcare (international cat care) website has some very interesting articles on cat behavior in the house and are worth a read to better understand her behaviors

I don't think you are doing anything wrong! I think it's somewhat common for cats to act very differently in a shelter situation than at home. Sometimes this means that a cat will be fearful or aggressive in the shelter but sweet in a home situation, but it can also mean that a cat seems more affectionate when stressed. Kittens also tend to be more affectionate and tolerant than older cats, so her increased age might be playing a role as well. You may want to try to find another way to spend time with her (like playing or brushing) rather than trying to hold her or snuggle with her.